Remember playing that game, Life, and you have to decide at the beginning if you want to go to college first? It puts you in mega debt, but you have more career choices and a better chance of a better salary. If you choose not to go to college, your chances are reduced.
Either way, it's still up to chance. I always found that funny- who would really end up with that bottom salary after college or that sweet job without it?
That game is a lot more like real life than I thought.
I have a college degree in Spanish and Secondary Education.
I have three years of teaching experience and valid teaching licenses for two very selective states.
I am bilingual.
I serve bagels.
I am back at Panera and have been since August 31st.
The thing is, I love it.
I don't even mind getting up at 4:15 every morning to go to work.
I don't mind that high schoolers can do my job.
I don't mind that former students and colleagues come in now and then.
I don't mind that my big accomplishments are getting that shy little boy to talk to me or helping a new customer get exactly what they want.
I don't mind that my big goal is to reach 200 transactions in one day. (My record is 196- SO CLOSE!)
I don't mind that creativity in m y job means drawing on the lattes with syrup or arranging the loaves or pastries differently.
I don't even mind that there's a piece of sourdough bread bowl crust stuck in my keyboard that makes it harder to type.
I love what I do.
I love being done at 1pm.
I love not taking work home with me unless I'm going to eat it.
I love that my managers trust me and appreciate the hard work I am doing.
I love that I have managers- people who are paying attention to the overall picture and also catch the details to redirect me as needed.
I love that I have jobs to do with people and on my own.
I love that I can get excited about our product.
I love connecting with customers, especially regulars.
I love 65% discounts while I'm working.
I love that I am so much happier than I was when I was teaching.
I LOVE building relationships with my coworkers.
Yes, I have no benefits (right now). Yes, I make, like, NO money. Yes, I run around all day. Yes, I'm quite tired at 1. Yes, I have to go to bed at 8pm if I want a full night of sleep.
I
don't
care.
If I can afford to do so, I feel like I could do this for a long time. It is, believe it or not, so much more fulfilling to me than teaching. My perspective on lots of things has changed, which I know has contributed to this, but it's not about state tests or classroom management or selling bagels or making the perfect latte. It's not even about reaching 200 transactions. It's about the Kingdom. It's about making disciples. At school, especially in NY, I was so pulled be everything else that relationships weren't really formed at all. Even though I was able to build some friendships in MA, they weren't very deep. Here, I work alongside people- we complete tasks together, we see almost everything everyone else does, we share responsibility for the success or failure of our tasks, we cover for one another, support one another, and have lots of time in the midst of it to build friendships. At the last school I was in, I don't know who the believers were. I didn't know anyone well enough to ever find that out. Now we have all found each other and several of them ask me to pray for things in their lives. I haven't gotten to the point of asking for their prayers as well, because I haven't had anything that wasn't uber personal or would take a lot of explaining to ask for prayer for, really. Anyway, I feel as though fruit will come out of this bakery... ha ha. I also love that I make lots of bread jokes.They are so lame, but all of us make them, so they're only unappreciated when I'm NOT at work. : ) Anyway, I pray that this is true- that God would use where I am to bring the Truth to those before me, to those for whom I am growing to care so deeply.Current Mood:  sleepy |
Everything is changing.
It rocks.Current Mood:  happy |
My current employment is in an amazing facility that is a lot of fun to come to as a customer. Often times it is also quite a wonderful place to work as well. My primary role there is a birthday party host. Parents can pay between $200 and $350 for the use of our facilities and staff for up to 10 participants. They are welcome to invite more people, but we charge them for it.
The parties are actually quite well organized and run smoothly (for the most part). Participants are generally well behaved and follow our every instruction. Parents are put at ease by our safety checks, smiles, and "professionalism" (put in quotes because I have a hard time seeing anything with t-shirt uniforms and singing happy birthday, complete with a "cha cha cha" between each line as remotely professional). We know what we're doing and they have no choice but to trust us with the lives of their children because they don't know how to do what we do and they signed a waiver saying it's not our fault if something goes wrong.
For many of our birthday kids, this is an awesome experience and a really cool way to celebrate your birthday. For some of them, it's a Veruca Salt experience- "Gimme an expensive, massive, party at which I'm going to be an absolute nightmare! NOW!"
This is not what I don't understand. I realize there are lots of spoiled children and I've hosted several of them. They can be a nightmare so long as they follow the rules. They can be arrogant and bossy and rude all day. But when they start endangering themselves or the other kids, I have a problem.
Even that I understand, however. Having taught for three years, I fully understand that kids who are not disciplined at home will have no understanding of why they should follow the rules. There are no consequences for them at home, so why would there be here?
What I don't understand is why have this kind of party for a five year old?? They won't really remember it, their friends won't really remember it, and they would have been just as happy with a sprinkler in the backyard as with this kind of party. Even more, why spend $500 on having tons of extra people at your party for your five year old? I cannot imagine spending that much money on a little kid's party.
Now, I might want to have a party like that NOW, but I'd remember it now. Most five year olds don't actually get much out of their experience anyway. It's a short-lived novelty for them. They don't have the drive or the stamina to really enjoy their own party.
This job does not pay very well. This is not a complaint, just a fact. I wouldn't expect it to pay more, really. A twelve year old could gain the skills needed to do the majority of the job, then the rest is just schmoozing, serving pizza and cake, and time management to make sure they're getting out the door on time. There are two payoffs to this position, and neither of them are in my paycheck. Payoff one is a free membership. I get to play there when I want. I don't take advantage of this all that often, but I may now that I'm not teaching and I live super close to it. Payoff number two are the tips. Parents like it when we engage with the kids, when we keep them from doing any work, when we tell stupid jokes we learned from Laffy Taffy wrappers. They pay us for it. I like this, not just because it's more money, but it's motivation to improve. The company will pay me the same as a guy who does his job with minimal personality, enthusiasm, or even skill, really. Parents sometimes come in knowing what they will tip us, but there are certainly times when they recognize our efforts. There are also times when despite all we do, the parents don't realize that tipping is standard. They probably would have been quite generous had they known, but it's not your typical service. We're not waiters, hairdressers, or valets.
There are other times, like yesterday, when they are upset to find out their party racked up $500 in charges and they get so upset by this that they fight against paying even their bill, let alone giving any extra to their exhausted servers. Ten participants is our standard. This party had 19 participants and even more people standing around. Pizza serving time was a nightmare. It was awful. Present time was disorganized and messy. It was almost an impossible party, really. The kids were running around and wouldn't heed direction. Even so, those of us working did everything we could. We handled it as well as we could. And she argued with the manager about her bill and left us with empty pockets.
I recognize that tips are not something I should be expecting. I am paid hourly. I'm not stuck on a waitress pay rate or anything. I love what I do (most of the time) and being able to work with those kids in setting goals, challenging themselves, watching them achieve, even just playing with them for a few hours- all of this is reward enough. I'm not one to cry, but I'll admit there have been times I've been very near tears when I see a kid who has been struggling or thought they couldn't do it rise beyond their own expectations and fears to conquer what had previously seemed impossible for them. I love being a part of that. Maybe it's the camp counselor and teacher in me.
Some of these kids are not like that, though. Some of them are awful, arrogant showoffs. Some of them refuse to take any suggestion, to try something new, to admit when things are difficult. Some of them don't appreciate the opportunity they've been given, don't appreciate anything they have. Some of their parents are the same way.
Yesterday was a very discouraging day at work. Hopefully my next group on Tuesday will be far more rewarding. I am quite certain I won't be receiving a tip Tuesday because of the kind of group we're hosting, but I certainly hope they are more fun to work with than these awful 5 year olds I had yesterday.
And no, it's not because they are five. I have worked with wonderful five year olds. These ones were, like, evil rotten nasty children.
So, basically, if you have very young children, please don't take them to our facility for their birthday. Wait until they are old enough to appreciate it. Wait until they've learned how to behave in public. Wait until they follow instructions. Wait until they can fit into our equipment. If you can't wait until then, please suggest they book someone else to work your party.Current Mood:  annoyed Current Music: One of these things first |
|
|
Jun. 9th, 2009 @ 01:30 pm
|
|---|
Here's what I want and I'm pretty sure it doesn't exist.
I don't really have time (or the appetite) to eat a full breakfast. I want a meal-type-beverage (like Ensure), but I have special requirements for it, as normal ones probably do more harm than good.
1. Sugar free... and nasty fake sugar free. I don't trust Splenda and the like. At the very least, incredibly low sugar would be okay.
2. Dairy free. I didn't realize how important that was until today.
3. High calorie. I go through a lot of them. This is especially hard to find in conjunction with low sugar. This is supposed to give me energy to burn, not just trick my stomach into thinking I actually ate.
4. High protein. This is a point I can compromise as well.
5. Not unbearably disgusting. This is a relative requirement and the most flexible. I am not altogether picky, however. Yesterday I drank (and very much enjoyed!) a mixture of cider, spinach, pineapple juice, and celery... so my idea of "unbearably disgusting" is perhaps slightly different from the norm.
Five requirements, some of which are flexible or relative. Wegmans proved unable to meet these needs yesterday. I settled by ignoring my second demand. That may have been a poor choice.
I also have some Odwalla bars that are good, but super sweet (in my opinion). I can't finish one. If it were salty snacky... oh, I could finish 3 of them. Why do these meal-substitute people assume that all of their customers are sweet-toothed?Current Mood:  tired Current Music: You Never Let Go -Matt Redman |
|
Coke
|
Apr. 1st, 2009 @ 07:50 pm
|
|---|
I tried to use a bottle of Coke to staple a few pages together today. Now, this may be a special Steelers Coke bottle, but it does not have the power to turn loose sheets into one packet. If opened, it would have the power to turn several sheets into one cohesive mess, but that's not the same.
Anyway...
How did this misinterpretation of the use of a bottle of soda occur at all?
Well, it just so happens that my mother is fantastic. Yes, this is related. She knows of my odd interest in Coca-Cola merchandise, though I as a general rule do not drink soda. I just like their "stuff." Anyway, once upon a time, my mother gifted me an amazing stapler that was the spitting image (where did THAT phrase come from?) of the wonderful glass bottles of Coke, including a brown body topped with a greenish clear neck and a red cap.
Both this stapler and the majority of the Coke bottles that I have collected over the years, some still containing their liquid sugar and some long emptied, reside on my bookshelf. It is getting dark here but I have yet to get up and turn on a light. In my carelessness, I reached for what seemed to be my stapler, but was, as the beginning of this post has already stated, my Steelers bottle.
Friends have stolen and purchased Coke bottles on my behalf from various countries and with various logos. This makes me smile, especially the ones that had to be smuggled, like the Egyptian bottle. I don't know how she stole it, since supposedly they follow you around after you buy the Coke to get their bottle back. But she is a particularly clever and determined individual.
That's today's adventure.Current Mood:  amused Current Music: Starfield - All We Need |
A
- Available: for lunch on Saturday
- Age: 25
- Annoyance: Grown people talking like babies.
- Animal: Giraffes
B
- Beer: Not even root.
- Birthday: June 12
- Best Friend: We don't really do "best friends-" except Jesus. I have a few close ones, though.
- Best feeling in the world: Sweatpants right out of the dryer.
- Blind or Deaf: The more I experience both, the more I realize I have no right to choose which I'd rather be.
- Best weather: 104, sunny, dry
- Been in Love: with Jesus
- Been on stage?: Lots of times. I miss it.
- Believe in Santa: Um, no.
C
- Candy: I'm not supposed to eat it, but I do anyway sometimes. Right now I like Take 5's.
- Color: pink!
- Chocolate/Vanilla: Depends on what it is.
- Chinese/Mexican Food: I love both, but Mexican.
- Cake or pie: Cheesecake, which can be argued as either.
- Country to visit: I'd like to try another eastern European country, I think.
- Cheese: Is my picture being taken?
D
- Day or Night: Both are useful for certain things.
- Dancing in the rain: It's excellent in August!
E
- Eyes: 2
- Everyone's got: a choice
- Ever failed a class?: Heck yes.
F
- First thoughts waking up: NO.
- Food: rocks. I don't eat rocks. Food is awesome. It rocks.
G
- Greatest Fear(s): ignoring what God has for me.
- Goals: no more loans. I'm not big on goals, really.
- Gum: Fruity ones like Stride Forever Fruit
H
- Hair Color: brown
- Height: 5'6"
- Holiday: Thanksgiving
- How do you want to die: relatively young. Suddenly.
I
- Ice Cream: Grasshopper Pie which they don't sell in NY.
- Instrument: muted trumpet. I don't have a clue why.
J
- Jewelry: Lia Sophia : )
- Job: Spanish teacher
-Joke: Brian Regan
K
- Kids: I teach everyone else's. That's all I want.
- Kickboxing or karate: Oh I miss kickboxing with Beatson!
- Keep a journal?: Quite obsessively... since 2004.
L
- Love: = God
- Letter: I like writing them. And receiving them.
- Laughed so hard you cried: Lots of times.
M
- Milk flavor: Soy?
- Movies: Pan's Labyrinth, Empire Records, Juno, Garden State, An American Tail (duh)
- McD’s or BK: Panera
-Music: Reggaeton and sweet soprano arias.
N
- Number: umm... phone?
O
- One wish: Thy Kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven.
P
- Pepsi/Coke: Water
- Perfect Pizza: Kashi
- Piercings: Just closed up holes.
Q
- Quality: comfort and price... that's nice! Only MA folks will get that one : )
R
- Reasons to cry: change
- Reality T.V.: Gross. I'd have to lend some gratitude to the Bachelor, though.
- Radio station: XM32, XM58
- Roll your tongue in a circle: Nope
- Ring size: My class ring was a 7
S
- Song: It changes almost daily. I really like "Truth Found You," though.
- Shoe size: 8-9
- Salad Dressing: Catalina or Cherry balsamic from Panera
- Sushi: Not going to happen.
- In the shower?: Candles and hymns
-Strawberries/Blueberries: Strawberries- I had a traumatic incident with a blueberry once.
T
- Tattoos?: One
- Time for bed: Varies with the day. Sometimes 9, sometimes midnight.
- Thunderstorms: Freak me out.
U
- Unpredictable: moods
V
- Vacation spot(s): Boston, apparently. Prince Edward Island would be a great one, though.
W
- Weakness: insecurity
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: We're all pretty different.
- Worst feeling: Realizing you've really hurt someone.
- Wanted to be a model: Just a voiceover... a vocal model, if you will. : )
- Worst Weather?: Slush
X
- X-Rays: Mostly dental, but I had some for my knees. They didn't find anything.
Y
- Year it is now: 2009
- Yellow: car! *punch*
Z
- "Z": time for getting some.Current Mood: tired Current Music: in my head- Marialola |
Last night my roommate and I rented a made for TV movie. We paid money to see something that most people would try to avoid. And what's even more disturbing is that we both actually liked it, despite its predictability, poor acting, and sub par screenplay.
Thursday morning I woke up not to the sound of my phone alarm, but to the final stages of my roommate's morning routine. Still being in a sleepy daze, I did not understand the implications of this. I lazily checked the clock on my phone, sent the information through my mind, where it put together all of the pieces that made a single squeaky gasp jump from my lips. It was 7:55am. My alarm is meant to go off at 5:49am. My first class starts at 7:45am. A terrified whimper arose as a bolted out of my room. My roommate, unaware until just a few seconds earlier (by the presence of my car) that I was NOT at work, questioned her own eyes, "You're still here??"
Another whimper. The first words I had were "What's the number for work?" And I stared at my phone, expecting it to just tell me a number I never programmed into it. Amazingly enough, it did just that. "Oh, great, work is calling me." And I started to explain myself to the secretary, saying I would miss my first class because I live 40 minutes away. Then my face accidentally hung up on her. My phone does that. I called back, feeling like an idiot for hanging up on the school secretary.
No major immediate repercussions from this incident, but it doesn't help my status in the district.
I felt like Jacob yesterday. I went to bed Friday concerned about certain parts of my life and woke up even more upset about them. Knowing I had plenty of time to wait, work, and pray that morning (I LOVE Saturdays) I told God I wasn't moving until something changed. I realize this sounds quite demanding and kind of controlling, which is not the attitude with which to approach God, but I saw it differently. I saw it as being bold before the throne, knowing that he wants these changes for me even more than I want them for myself. Knowing that I've already been set free from those patterns, that I've already been perfected in the heavenly realms, I was asking for what has already been given to me. I wanted my life to look more like reality than the shadows of the past.
So I wrestled. Like Jacob. And, like Jacob, God didn't leave me disappointed. I may not be stuck with a limp forever, but that doesn't mean the morning went without pain. The realizations of what I've been doing, how it has affected my life and those around me, and just how deeply rooted and widespread it is were overwhelming. Fortunately, the Bible is "a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path." My next step was in the Word. I know I'll probably be working on that for a while. I also know that when it becomes time for the next step, that too will be illuminated.
I heard some very upsetting news today. It does not directly affect me, but is just one of those things that I have a really hard time accepting for someone else. A life-changing, devastating event for someone still so very fragile and just beginning to think that maybe life ISN'T so awful all of the time.
It's things like this that make me wonder why anyone would want to read, watch, or listen to anything that tries to say that life can be happy, sunny, fluffy stuff all the time. These sorts of ideas just lead to disappointment through impossible expectations and false impressions. As they say in The Princess Bride, "Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something." The Bible doesn't really say much differently either. "In this world you will have trouble." Of course in that case there's a hope attached to it- "But take heart! I have overcome the world." Still, I'm not going to live under the delusion that my life could ever be filled with a smiley-faced sun and rides on the backs of unicorns. I don't know of anyone who believes those as literal possibilities, but I see so many people looking for things that are just as impossible, just as imaginary, just as fruitless.
Even so, I want to just go to this girl... I don't have much to offer her, but I'd just hold her and be there and love her when I know she must feel so alone and terrified for the future.
I want to go home. So much of me still doesn't think of this as home, and I don't know what it will take to change that. Of course really, my home is not anywhere on this earth... so I guess it's okay that I don't feel like this is it.Current Mood:  distressed |
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
youngfievel's journal